Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
