Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i out mim tonsoeep
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
