Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
