people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
