Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
