just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
