Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
