Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
