let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
