After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
tell me about the fingering
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