You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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