The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
