Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
