I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
