trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
