take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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