she kept yelling 'call me bella'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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