Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
