She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
