I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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