I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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