my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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