i love accidental penises.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
