I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
