so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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