Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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