I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
