Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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