i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
