I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
