I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
