I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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