Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
