My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
