Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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