I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
