What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A bitchslap is in order.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
