Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
