Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no you cant smoke seaweed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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