The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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