oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I could fuck to npr.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
