Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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