so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
