This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
