ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
