Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
