just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
