how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
