Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Randomize
