This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
