fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
