Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
